Power and Control: Nurturing Internal Empowerment

When we delve into the core reasons why many individuals seek treatment, it often boils down to power and control. Feeling powerless or losing control in certain moments can be a significant motivator. On the other hand, some individuals may struggle with connection due to their tendency to exert excessive control. While power and control may carry negative connotations, they are intrinsic aspects of being human. The concern arises when they are misused.

Misuse of power and control often stems from individuals who feel a loss of internal power and control over their lives or emotions. Consequently, they seek to regain a sense of control through external means. To clarify, internal power and control refer to our inner experiences—our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs—while external control pertains to our influence over the external environment, such as our home, relationships, and the people around us.

It is crucial to recognize that we have limited, if any, external control. However, we possess the capacity to cultivate and strengthen our internal power and control, enabling us to shape our responses to external stimuli. For instance, consider the context of a new romantic relationship. Such a situation lies largely beyond our control and may trigger feelings of fear and insecurity. Some individuals cope with this insecurity by attempting to control their partner’s actions, choices, and even appearance. Yet, this approach fails to address the lack of internal control we truly crave. It may provide momentary relief but lacks lasting effects, perpetuating the need for further external control.

Instead, focusing on internal control in this scenario involves acknowledging and addressing the underlying fears and vulnerabilities associated with new relationships. By working through these emotions and fear-based thoughts, we can foster genuine connection. However, the secret lies in understanding that even with developed internal control, a relationship may still end or not withstand the test of time. Nonetheless, those who have cultivated internal control are better equipped to navigate the aftermath and handle breakups with resilience.

Pay attention to moments when you find yourself exerting excessive external control or needing everything to be perfect. These instances may indicate a lack of internal control. Take a moment to check in with yourself and explore the underlying emotions driving such behavior. By nurturing your internal empowerment, you can find greater resilience and a healthier approach to power and control in your life.

Sincerely,
Liz Vasinko

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